Yes, again. This time for… wait for it…
“Violation of Court Order.”
As. If.
The midday apprehension and resultant was drastically different from last year’s morning debacle. It’s remarkable how much better things go when there is no raid, and the arresting officer isn’t antagonistic and BS-ing the magistrate, and the magistrate isn’t a self-important buttbomb, and all the jailers are nice while performing their duties.
No one -- not the arresting officer, not the magistrate, not the jailers -- could inform me how I allegedly violated the Court Order, or when. Because the warrant doesn’t specify such. Which is more than absurd. Think about it: imagine you’re charged with breaking the law and when you ask what law it is you broke, the authorities say “I dunno; you’ll find out eventually.”
What. Ev. Er.
Aside from that retardedness, I also learned that somewhere along the line since their previous attempt to shut down this site, Law Enforcement added my name to their database of gang members.
Come. On.
I mean, I’ve heard of a one-man-band but a one-woman-gang? Desperate, devious, vindictive, little punks. I gotta hand it to ‘em though, it’s a good ploy to get cops I might encounter to be unreasonably aggressive towards me. I tell ya, if, after being pulled over for a burnt-out taillight or equally trivial matter, I get torn out of my car, smashed to the ground and unceremoniously ransacked because the policeman thinks I’m Los Zetas, I am so going to blog about it!
In short, I’m free (obviously) on a $2000.00 unsecured -- as in, no money required -- bond with nada unjust stipulations, under unofficial obligation to keep a certain (awesome) person off I HeArTE JADE, and have a court date in Albemarle County the middle of next month.
20100328
20100326
Eight Months Ago (Can You Believe It’s Been Eight Months?!)
(Continued from here)
Special Agent Jason Trent escorted me out of Potentate Magistrate’s office and into the next room of the correctional institution. Naturally, because of my clear distress, the roughshod man couldn’t resist gloating about his role in my sudden loss of freedom. But so overwrought was I, my mind just made Slushie out of most of what he was saying. It’s like his words went in, and my brain whirred them into an incoherency-flavored Margarita. I put up with roughly twenty seconds of his complacency.
I accused the thrasonical State Policeman of intentionally exaggerating to the magistrate, and he informed me I should be grateful to him since he could’ve made it worse. I lamented, semi-teary-eyed and more to myself than anyone else, the $7500.00 bond. Even if it had been set at $75.00 dollars, I wouldn’t be able to pay it! Mr. Trent said, for, I think, the third time that morning, I could use my car as collateral for bail. I would find out later that wouldn’t be true, and I suspect he knew that would be the case when he offered it as a solution.
As I tried to pull my thoughts, and self, together, Mr. Trent stated “I know you’re angry” to which I responded “I’m not ‘angry’. I am hurt. And confused. And I am sad. But I am not ‘angry’.” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that part because unfortunately the mixture of emotions at that moment was toxic, enough to scar my already mangled heart.
I impetuously spouted off something about a certain Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement investigator, then bit my tongue, hard, to stop myself from revealing more. The Task Force Detective may have covered most of his tracks but he hadn’t concealed them all; it wouldn’t do to tip my hand to Jason Trent in a fit of anguish and have him go squealing to the JADE member.
A short, rotund, lady with dark hair appeared. While Mr. Trent continued his attempts to provoke me -- I supposed to get me to say or do things that could be used against me in court -- she pulled on gloves and spun me around to the wall for a search. Really? Another one? What -- Smurfette’s wasn’t good enough?
I was apparently just expected to know where to place my hands and feet but since I did not, in fact, know what was required, the woman got annoyed with me. She forcefully shoved my legs apart and smacked my arms to get them where she wanted them. Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to apologize to someone who’s doing that to you? ‘Cause that’s what I did. “I’m sorry. I… I’ve never done this before -- I’m sorry.” To be fair, I don’t think the chubby female was being abusive inasmuch as thoughtless. Among other elements, it simply doesn’t occur to these people that not everyone they encounter is an experienced gangster intimate with jailhouse procedures.
It was about then that Agent Trent suggested he and his sidekick Trooper Smurfette take off. He made some remark about how their presence was only “agitating” me. Pssh. Like you weren’t trying to rile me up?
As the pair moved to leave, Mr. Trent asked if I wanted him to give a message to someone. I told him yeah, and what it was. I ended it specifically with “Ha. Ha. Ha.” and pleaded that he include that. He shook his head and declared he could not. Well then why the hell did you offer? The guy acted like I’d requested he smear peanut butter across his double chin. “But if you don’t laugh three times, the person isn’t going to know it’s really from me.” Sardonic vocalization is something only I would do, given the situation. Please, please, please, don’t refuse me this one, small, favor. I looked forlornly at the officer lingering in the exit. His eyes froze to mine and, for an instant, I felt he understood that the wry giggles I’d articulated were an innocent communication, and how important it was they be passed along. I waited for him to give some sort of confirmation of my impression but he merely shut the door, leaving me in the custody of the Blue Ridge Regional Jail.
Special Agent Jason Trent escorted me out of Potentate Magistrate’s office and into the next room of the correctional institution. Naturally, because of my clear distress, the roughshod man couldn’t resist gloating about his role in my sudden loss of freedom. But so overwrought was I, my mind just made Slushie out of most of what he was saying. It’s like his words went in, and my brain whirred them into an incoherency-flavored Margarita. I put up with roughly twenty seconds of his complacency.
I accused the thrasonical State Policeman of intentionally exaggerating to the magistrate, and he informed me I should be grateful to him since he could’ve made it worse. I lamented, semi-teary-eyed and more to myself than anyone else, the $7500.00 bond. Even if it had been set at $75.00 dollars, I wouldn’t be able to pay it! Mr. Trent said, for, I think, the third time that morning, I could use my car as collateral for bail. I would find out later that wouldn’t be true, and I suspect he knew that would be the case when he offered it as a solution.
As I tried to pull my thoughts, and self, together, Mr. Trent stated “I know you’re angry” to which I responded “I’m not ‘angry’. I am hurt. And confused. And I am sad. But I am not ‘angry’.” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that part because unfortunately the mixture of emotions at that moment was toxic, enough to scar my already mangled heart.
I impetuously spouted off something about a certain Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement investigator, then bit my tongue, hard, to stop myself from revealing more. The Task Force Detective may have covered most of his tracks but he hadn’t concealed them all; it wouldn’t do to tip my hand to Jason Trent in a fit of anguish and have him go squealing to the JADE member.
A short, rotund, lady with dark hair appeared. While Mr. Trent continued his attempts to provoke me -- I supposed to get me to say or do things that could be used against me in court -- she pulled on gloves and spun me around to the wall for a search. Really? Another one? What -- Smurfette’s wasn’t good enough?
I was apparently just expected to know where to place my hands and feet but since I did not, in fact, know what was required, the woman got annoyed with me. She forcefully shoved my legs apart and smacked my arms to get them where she wanted them. Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to apologize to someone who’s doing that to you? ‘Cause that’s what I did. “I’m sorry. I… I’ve never done this before -- I’m sorry.” To be fair, I don’t think the chubby female was being abusive inasmuch as thoughtless. Among other elements, it simply doesn’t occur to these people that not everyone they encounter is an experienced gangster intimate with jailhouse procedures.
It was about then that Agent Trent suggested he and his sidekick Trooper Smurfette take off. He made some remark about how their presence was only “agitating” me. Pssh. Like you weren’t trying to rile me up?
As the pair moved to leave, Mr. Trent asked if I wanted him to give a message to someone. I told him yeah, and what it was. I ended it specifically with “Ha. Ha. Ha.” and pleaded that he include that. He shook his head and declared he could not. Well then why the hell did you offer? The guy acted like I’d requested he smear peanut butter across his double chin. “But if you don’t laugh three times, the person isn’t going to know it’s really from me.” Sardonic vocalization is something only I would do, given the situation. Please, please, please, don’t refuse me this one, small, favor. I looked forlornly at the officer lingering in the exit. His eyes froze to mine and, for an instant, I felt he understood that the wry giggles I’d articulated were an innocent communication, and how important it was they be passed along. I waited for him to give some sort of confirmation of my impression but he merely shut the door, leaving me in the custody of the Blue Ridge Regional Jail.
20100324
...Says The Officer Who DIDN’T Give His Name
From: Local Police
To: I HeArTE JADE
Date: Tue, Mar 23, 2010 at 10:38 AM
Subject: Pictures
If you wanted pics of my car, you could have just asked! No need to sneak around behind me...I would be happy to allow you to take pictures of my car for all to see. Have a safe day.
To: I HeArTE JADE
Date: Tue, Mar 23, 2010 at 10:38 AM
Subject: Pictures
If you wanted pics of my car, you could have just asked! No need to sneak around behind me...I would be happy to allow you to take pictures of my car for all to see. Have a safe day.
20100323
20100322
Todd Lucas
It’s taken him practically forever but I believe this officer is the only one from Charlottesville who, no matter what, now recognizes me on sight. Could be because he and I have had at least a few screwy face-to-face encounters. I dunno. Whatever. He’s still fun to play with.
That last snapshot I took after the trio and I unexpectedly passed each other on the Downtown Mall. I pulled out my camera... Detective Lucas pulled out his cell phone... ‘twas concurrent identification at its most comedic.
That last snapshot I took after the trio and I unexpectedly passed each other on the Downtown Mall. I pulled out my camera... Detective Lucas pulled out his cell phone... ‘twas concurrent identification at its most comedic.
In The Spirit Of Spring
I am cleaning out my Task Force photo album. Or maybe it’s more like I’m hauling it out. Y’see, I have all kinds of old images of Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement activities, these officers and those informants, his cars and her dealers, so on and so forth, just sitting there. On my hard drive. In folders. Going to waste waste WASTE.
Something must be done.
Sure, sure, I can’t publish any of JADE members and that one “special” VSP BCI Agent -- y’all have any idea how many pictures of Jason, aka Jay, Trent his pals have put on the Internet? Let me just say: woah. -- nevertheless nothing’s stopping me from sticking up anything or everything but.
So, HeArTE addicts, prepare for whatever. Probably with nary an accompanying explanation, too.
No guarantee passers-by will find the shots interesting, or even good -- Catherine Leroy I am not -- but I’m going to post ‘em anyway. It’ll make me laugh. And we all know that’s the ultimate goal of this site.
Something must be done.
Sure, sure, I can’t publish any of JADE members and that one “special” VSP BCI Agent -- y’all have any idea how many pictures of Jason, aka Jay, Trent his pals have put on the Internet? Let me just say: woah. -- nevertheless nothing’s stopping me from sticking up anything or everything but.
So, HeArTE addicts, prepare for whatever. Probably with nary an accompanying explanation, too.
No guarantee passers-by will find the shots interesting, or even good -- Catherine Leroy I am not -- but I’m going to post ‘em anyway. It’ll make me laugh. And we all know that’s the ultimate goal of this site.
20100321
20100315
Mystery Monday
What makes a mystery good is the hope that it can be solved; a mystery that cannot be solved is no fun.
I recently got the final component I needed to unravel a Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement brainteaser I’d been processing for months. It’s for realiously excellent how one bitty piece of information can cause the rest to click.
Rather than explain the shebang in detail like I usually do, I thought this time ‘round I’d provide all the clues and, hey, let yous guys try to figure out just what it was I was tryin’ to figure out.
You’re going to have an advantage that I didn’t, though, since y’all are getting everything necessary, exactly, plus all at once, and in order, whereas in my case a spate of stuff trickled in everywhither and I had to use a relevance pole to fish solely the following out of Lake JADE. Can’t you tell by that atrocious sentence how deliriously amused I am right now?
1:
I HeArTe JADE site
2:
3:
Save McIntire Park
4:
5:
Picture of Joe Hatter and his “boys” -- as he calls them
6:
Article from the Charlottesville Fire Department
7:
Oh, one last comment! If you’re wondering how you’re s’posed to know if you came up with the right answer, uhm...
Reread the post title. ;)
I recently got the final component I needed to unravel a Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement brainteaser I’d been processing for months. It’s for realiously excellent how one bitty piece of information can cause the rest to click.
Rather than explain the shebang in detail like I usually do, I thought this time ‘round I’d provide all the clues and, hey, let yous guys try to figure out just what it was I was tryin’ to figure out.
You’re going to have an advantage that I didn’t, though, since y’all are getting everything necessary, exactly, plus all at once, and in order, whereas in my case a spate of stuff trickled in everywhither and I had to use a relevance pole to fish solely the following out of Lake JADE. Can’t you tell by that atrocious sentence how deliriously amused I am right now?
1:
I HeArTe JADE site
2:
3:
Save McIntire Park
4:
5:
Picture of Joe Hatter and his “boys” -- as he calls them
6:
Article from the Charlottesville Fire Department
7:
Oh, one last comment! If you’re wondering how you’re s’posed to know if you came up with the right answer, uhm...
Reread the post title. ;)
20100312
Daily Progress Goofs On Sex; NBC29 Gets It Right With Neutral “Residents”
Daily Progress:
2 Charlottesville women [sic] facing drug chargesNBC29:
Two local women [sic] were arrested on drug charges Thursday afternoon.
Keisa Annette Bell, 33, and Leandra Isiah Henderson, 20, both of Charlottesville, are charged with possession of cocaine with the intent to distribute, according to a news release from Sgt. Joe Hatter of the Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement task force.
The arrests came after police served a search warrant at a home on Forest Street, recovering more than $1,100 in cash and 20 grams of crack with an estimated street value of about $2,000, according to the release.
The investigation is ongoing, and arrests and charges are pending, police say.
Charlottesville Drug Bust Nets CocaineMore, on I HeArTE JADE.
Two Charlottesville residents are under arrest after they were found with $2,000 worth of cocaine.
Keisa Bell and Leandra Henderson were both charged with possession of the drug with intent to distribute.
The Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement Task Force seized the cocaine as well as more than $1,000 in the 800-block of Forest Street Thursday afternoon.
20100311
News At 11
March 2010
The Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement Task Force served a search warrant Thursday [March 11th] in the 800-block of Forest Street in Charlottesville that led to the seizure of 20 grams of crack cocaine and more than $1,100.
Authorities said the cocaine has a potential street value of approximately $2,000.00.
Keisa Annette Bell, 33, of Charlottesville and Leandra Isiah Henderson, 20, of Charlottesville were arrested and received a felony charge of possession of cocaine with the intent to distribute.
This is an ongoing investigation with additional arrest[s] and charges pending. No further information regarding this case has been released.
Source.
2 Arrested in JADE Drug Bust
Two people were arrested Thursday afternoon after authorities found 20 grams of crack cocaine in Charlottesville.
Two people were arrested Thursday afternoon after authorities found 20 grams of crack cocaine in Charlottesville.
The Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement Task Force served a search warrant Thursday [March 11th] in the 800-block of Forest Street in Charlottesville that led to the seizure of 20 grams of crack cocaine and more than $1,100.
Authorities said the cocaine has a potential street value of approximately $2,000.00.
Keisa Annette Bell, 33, of Charlottesville and Leandra Isiah Henderson, 20, of Charlottesville were arrested and received a felony charge of possession of cocaine with the intent to distribute.
This is an ongoing investigation with additional arrest[s] and charges pending. No further information regarding this case has been released.
Source.
20100307
Pick A Pack Of Public Pictures
Images amuse me. Each on I HeArTE JADE “mouse friendly.” Click! A larger version. Click! An entirely different photograph. Or an article. Or a Facebook page. That teaser snapshot someone is dying, dying, dying, to view full size? Click! Boo-Hoo. It’s identical.
Deliberately designed, that’s. But...
Used to be I titled visual representations without a Google care in the world. Put “Brian O’Donnell” in that .jpg -- I should say not! Stick with Longhead. Then I got to playing more than ever, and watcha know? Exhibit A: Front page results.
Exhibit B: Chad Vernon.
Seek and Yee-Haw, find him!
Exhibit C: Eric Kudro.
I really oughta get a decent pic of him when he’s on duty. Guess I’ll have to wait ‘til he checks out of the Sheraton (or wherever) and gets back in the area.
Exhibit D: Trevor Ross.
Least I’m told that’s none other than the Albemarle County Police Department officer himself. As of this entry, he’s not showing in searches. Though I bet he soon will be.
Hey, you hear that? That’s the sound of a whole online albumful of previously published pictures screaming to be renamed.
Deliberately designed, that’s. But...
Used to be I titled visual representations without a Google care in the world. Put “Brian O’Donnell” in that .jpg -- I should say not! Stick with Longhead. Then I got to playing more than ever, and watcha know? Exhibit A: Front page results.
Exhibit B: Chad Vernon.
Seek and Yee-Haw, find him!
Exhibit C: Eric Kudro.
I really oughta get a decent pic of him when he’s on duty. Guess I’ll have to wait ‘til he checks out of the Sheraton (or wherever) and gets back in the area.
Exhibit D: Trevor Ross.
Least I’m told that’s none other than the Albemarle County Police Department officer himself. As of this entry, he’s not showing in searches. Though I bet he soon will be.
Hey, you hear that? That’s the sound of a whole online albumful of previously published pictures screaming to be renamed.
20100306
20100305
The Some “News” Deserves No Comment Comment
Since folks keep asking me about it, this is all I’m going to say on the matter:
I HeArTE JADE exists for my entertainment. I find nothing amusing about what those particular local officers did, or what they and the people they’re connected to are enduring because of it. If anything, I am sad for them -- the innocent and the guilty.
I HeArTE JADE exists for my entertainment. I find nothing amusing about what those particular local officers did, or what they and the people they’re connected to are enduring because of it. If anything, I am sad for them -- the innocent and the guilty.
20100301
20100226
Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue
“Know what I’d do if I were JADE?”
The reclining target of my question keeps his eyes closed but moves his head half an inch to show he’s listening.
I drum a polished pink nail lightly on the heap of assorted documents I’ve been going through. “If I were JADE, I’d change the way the Task Force files and papers look so that I’d know if I -- ya know, me -- was puttin’ up pictures of old stuff or new stuff.”
My companion laughs hardily. I love his laugh.
I elucidate. “An extra line here, a different graphic there. Rework the case file cover sheet. Maybe use a heart paper punch? Seriously though, just one little unnoticeable modification would be all it’d take.”
Now animated he sits up. “That’s what they do in the military.”
“Yeah?” My attention is somewhat elsewhere. An idea for the site sprung in my head; I’m plucking out some of the items in front of me.
“Yeah” he says. “To find out who’s leaking the info.”
I realize what he’s getting at, pause and frown. “Oh.”
“Yeah. ‘Oh’ is right.” He stands, takes his time neatening, zips his uniform. “What are you up to?” he asks coming over to look at my now finished spur-of-the-moment project.
I pick up the camera, smile mischievously, and point. “Ima post pictures of these old things.”
He responds with a robust laugh as he heads out the door back to work. I do love his laugh.
The reclining target of my question keeps his eyes closed but moves his head half an inch to show he’s listening.
I drum a polished pink nail lightly on the heap of assorted documents I’ve been going through. “If I were JADE, I’d change the way the Task Force files and papers look so that I’d know if I -- ya know, me -- was puttin’ up pictures of old stuff or new stuff.”
My companion laughs hardily. I love his laugh.
I elucidate. “An extra line here, a different graphic there. Rework the case file cover sheet. Maybe use a heart paper punch? Seriously though, just one little unnoticeable modification would be all it’d take.”
Now animated he sits up. “That’s what they do in the military.”
“Yeah?” My attention is somewhat elsewhere. An idea for the site sprung in my head; I’m plucking out some of the items in front of me.
“Yeah” he says. “To find out who’s leaking the info.”
I realize what he’s getting at, pause and frown. “Oh.”
“Yeah. ‘Oh’ is right.” He stands, takes his time neatening, zips his uniform. “What are you up to?” he asks coming over to look at my now finished spur-of-the-moment project.
I pick up the camera, smile mischievously, and point. “Ima post pictures of these old things.”
He responds with a robust laugh as he heads out the door back to work. I do love his laugh.
 | |
20100223
20100221
FYI: Flattery doesn’t work on me. Neither does so-called reverse psychology. I may, on occasion, play along with either or both for fun though.
From: Free Email ServiceAww… bless your little heart; you’re just trying so hard, aren’t you officer? All right, all right, I’ll remove your name(s) and picture from that entry. Now you run along and play in traffic or whatever else it is a “boring” or “low level uniform cop” does. Hugs!
To: I HeArTE JADE
Date: Sun, Feb 21, 2010 at 1:18 AM
Subject: From a fan
[H]i! I am a fan of your site, I just wanted to offer some constructive criticism. If the site is supposed to be about JADE, why are you spending so much time on boring regular uniformed cops? Just wondering b/c I really dig the JADE stuff but really could care less what a low level uniform cop does in his free time. Sorry I had to send this from an anonymous site, but I have seen your capabilities and really just wanted this to be a one way email, ya know?
Hugs!
-I HEART JADE FAN!
20100220
I Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or To Laugh
I definitely believe members of Law Enforcement, on the whole, are smarter than average. I think they have to be. The ability to learn and retain, not to mention put into practice, all that’s required for them to do their job absolutely takes a heftier than norm IQ. However, I also believe, as intelligent as officers are, they are not above doing strangely dumb things. Bearing that in mind, it’d take some pretty strong evidence to convince me that a policeman would himself go to reddit and beg for a DOS attack on I HeArTE JADE. Nevertheless, I would not put it past one to ask a histrionic buddy of his to do it for him. Especially if his prior attempt to access my photo host backfired.
Whatever the deal is, what I mostly wonder about it is this: if my reposting images from Facebook is equivalent to “targeting our traffic cops for murder” wouldn’t that in turn mean those same so-called traffic cops must be suicidal, since they’re the ones who published their pictures in the first place?
Whatever the deal is, what I mostly wonder about it is this: if my reposting images from Facebook is equivalent to “targeting our traffic cops for murder” wouldn’t that in turn mean those same so-called traffic cops must be suicidal, since they’re the ones who published their pictures in the first place?
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