All personally identifying information on this site discovered utilizing resources readily available to the general public. All publicly-obtainable court documents, media reports, and any content of similar nature, provided herein or linked to were pre-published elsewhere by parties other than myself. General images along with my personal photographs are garnered via publicly accessible sources through legal means. The purpose for republishing or otherwise publicizing the information is simply to support the content contained herein.


Happy Halloween!


Did I mention...

The judge in my Greene County case is the same as my City of Charlottesville judge is the same as my County of Albemarle judge? I never knew “coincidental” could be spelled Y-E-A-H-R-I-G-H-T.

Said judge is a former State Trooper? Gee. That explains... well, everything.

The Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement Task Force has a new member? Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement Task Force has a new member!

Those officers I wrote of weren’t in the special room because they had to be, they were in there because they wanted to be? ‘Twas legit ridic. I arrogant snobby pricks.

Allegedly someone swiped the AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY sign from the door to the Task Force’s office? They prolly took the dang thing down themselves, the cheezballs.

Now-notorious JADE vehicles, if multiple sources are to be believed, can no longer be found in the lot overnight or on weekends? Meh. Who cares?

The Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement Task Force has a new member? In case you missed me mentioning it the first two times.

On my final stay at Albemarle-Charlottesville Regional Jail, an inmate recognized me from the print edition of The Hook? Ya seriously want me to autograph your copy -- not-uh! Lemme get a pen…

The items seized from my car were sent to JMU for examination? My sigh of relief when I found this out was so huge that people in California thought it was an earthquake.

I Can Be Just As Reasonable As The Prosecutor

My lawyer left me a voicemail last night. The Greene County Commonwealth Attorney is offering me a deal: plead guilty to the charge of stalking and take down the I HeArTE JADE website, and receive a twelve month suspended sentence.


I... I’... I’m... sorry, but...


That’s not a deal! How is that a deal? What freakin’ JADE-seized drugs was the CA on when he thought I’d actually even consider that?

I haven’t returned my attorney’s call yet, but I think when I do I’m going to suggest he make this counter-offer to Mr. Morris: drop the charge, and I won’t ridicule you for twelve six two months weeks.


Currently The Best. Thing. Ever.

“On Sunday [October 17, 2010], The [Richmond] Times-Dispatch published a lengthy article about the salaries of state employees, and made them available online.”
Open Government: State Salaries

State issues e-mail to employees regarding FOI request for salaries

So curious me started searching specific officers merely to see what they’re taking in. First in the query box was of course the JADE Task Force’s Virginia State Policeman Joe Fleming ($53,331), followed by BCI Special Agent Jason Trent ($57,352).

By the time I was looking up Mikes Monroe ($73,780) and Bailey ($69,753), Joseph Rader ($80,135), Dino Cappuzzo ($51,008), not to mention Fox ($!!,!!!), I realized I wasn’t making the most of this fabulous resource.

So info-junkie me limited searches strictly to Job Title. I also discovered how handy the Federal Classification Title link is when coupled with that option. Name after name after name displayed! And y’all know what I think of that: once you’ve got a name, you’ve got everything.

Hafta love free entertainment.

Google “Search Story”


See, I Told You So -- Eric Kudro Is Just MADE For JADE!

October 2010
Albemarle County Police arrested two men for possession of narcotics, including crack cocaine and marijuana, following a traffic stop early Thursday morning.

Officer Kudro, of the County Police Department, stopped a vehicle in the 1000 block of Seminole Trail around 12:30am Thursday. While conducting the traffic stop, the officer reports noticing a smell of marijuana coming from the vehicle. He also determined the passenger of the vehicle was wanted for an outstanding felony warrant.

Upon search of the vehicle, Officer Kudro located 133.2 grams of crack cocaine, 15 grams of marijuana, a 9mm handgun and $644 in cash.


5368 5139 5319 420ACM

I HeArTE JADE, quite purveyed,
How does your website grow?
With Taskforce tells and Dealer sells,
And State Troopers all in a row.


Sequestrate The Elite

Wednesday I had to go to Greene County Courthouse for a motions’ hearing.

It was scheduled for 9AM.

We made it in front of the judge after 2PM.

Between others’ and mine, 7½ hours of proceedings.

Probably far more entertaining for me than for the gang of officers there for my case.

They did their waiting in a special room.


Oh. Yeah. By The Bye, I’m Out.

♫ No more cellblocks.
♫ No more crooks.
♫ No more guards’ dirty looks!

Five days served.

What. A. Total. Time-suck.

Da Maneira Que Eu Gosto

Silently interrupting our conversation I thrust my index finger frontward sharply to point at something through the windshield. From the passenger seat of my parked car, my Virginia State Policeman, Fox -- a more fitting pseudonym for him there is not, looks to see what I find important enough to disturb our chat. Across the road, in a separate lot, one of his breed is rounding a building in a marked cruiser.

Inundated by an explosion of excitement, I ask “Can you read the tag?”

The pulchritudinous man beside me casually but swiftly maneuvers himself until he gets a decent unblocked-by-botanies view of the license plate, then rattles off four numbers. Fox is so very accommodating. Armed with the digits, I ransack my mind all the way to the recesses to ascertain whether I’ve got photographs of that particular Trooper; at the same time I mentally try to establish where in the automobile my camera is. “I have 5288…” Under my seat? “And 5226…” Glove compartment maybe?5446 too…” In the back on the floorboard? Upon comprehensive internal numeration I determine I do not, in fact, have any pictures of the Blue and Gray in question.

Fox has been watching me keenly, a flare of amusement mixed with I-don’t-know-what at my behavior. Perhaps he’s experiencing jamais vu -- though it’s not as if he isn’t familiar with my enthusiasms regarding chance encounters with officers. Shoot; on one of our first get-togethers, he had to practically drag me away by my hair to prevent me from examining a police car that, right before our eyes, had been inexplicably left wide open -- completely unsecured, windows down -- by its uniformed operator in an otherwise-empty parking lot! It so happens the reason for the abandonment was a flat tire, but, still, what kind of cop leaves his patrol vehicle wide open like that?!

Reminiscing about onset meetings with him brings to mind I HeArTE JADE activities and before I can stop myself, I blurt out at Fox “Do you think I’m obsessed with Law Enforcement?”

He cerebrates for a moment before giving me a carefully constructed answer, the kind I’d expect from a lawman -- even a scrupulous one: adequately ambiguous, designed to be favorable to any given person’s position. He has never vilipended my Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement habit though, thus I am content to accept his reply. Plus he’s hot, so who really cares what he has to say?

Fox and I carry on with our visit, but I surreptitiously keep tabs on the mystery Trooper. I track him moving to yet another square of pavement, and while I lose sight of him there neither do I observe his departure from the immediate area.

After my delicious VSP-man and I disentangle ourselves from each other and bid farewells, I roll off in the direction of where I suspect the unknown Trooper will be found.


Final 24

Tonight is my last twenty-four hours in Albemarle-Charlottesville Regional Jail. Hooray!

Last weekend’s lockup was, for the most part, uneventful. They stuck me in an enormous cell by myself, presumably to keep me out of trouble -- as if I’d, I don’t know, incite a riot in general population -- and essentially ignored me for the next 40-something hours. I did have another run-in with the Bed Nazi. Her sole job and joy in life seems to be upholding the integrity of sheet and blanket placement on a narrow half-inch-thick mat. She totally cracks me up!

Still, I’m glad it’ll be done with. I have definitely learned my lesson from the overall experience. Granted, it’s probably not the lesson the darling JADE Task Force and their sycophants intended for me but, hey, contrary to their belief, they can’t win ‘em all.

Seasonal News

Sellers plead guilty in drug ring
October 2010

Salespeople in a Charlottesville-area drug ring, some of whom deposited the proceeds into a Wachovia Bank account, pleaded guilty to charges Friday in Charlottesville’s federal court.

Authorities said that Keith Aubrey Marks, Tangelia Lashiel Bulluck, Melissa Ann Putnam, Sherri Lynette White and David Anthony Payne were involved in the drug conspiracy between June 2009 and July 2010. Ronald Huber, assistant U.S. attorney, said in court that it is estimated the conspiracy moved 1.5 kilos of crack, more than 100 grams of heroin and some powder cocaine.

Rodney Wayne Barnes and five others were indicted Sept. 22 by a federal grand jury in connection with the drug ring. The indictment said Barnes, who pleaded not guilty to all charges during a Sept. 24 hearing, “developed relations with other drug traffickers” while he was selling drugs.


Detectives from the Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement task force and their informants began buying drugs from some of the salespeople in the spring, Huber said in court. After Putnam was arrested on an outstanding warrant from a state court, the prosecutor said in court, she told authorities that she had been selling drugs and sending money orders to Barnes in New York.


The five salespeople, all of whom are incarcerated except for Bulluck, are scheduled to be sentenced Jan. 10. Barnes is scheduled to have a three-day trial in November.




1½ Minutes Out Of My 2nd 48 Hours At Camp ACRJ

Outfitted in a decorous dark-colored uniform rather than the frequently-seen gray Polo shirt and true-navy-blue slacks the guards wear, he pokes his head in my cell. “You request the Chaplain?”

Why -- do I look like I need my last rites? Oh. Wait. That’s a Catholic Priest, not a jail Chaplain. I smile broadly and tell the Correctional Officer “no.”

“What are you reading?” he asks, a glint of amusement in his eye.

In response, I flip up the large paperback in my hands which I’d dug out of the limited-selection book box from Intake.

“That’s a ‘girl book’’” he wrinkles up his nose and wisecracks; I laugh out loud.


Whatcha Doin' This Weekend?

Tonight officially begins my second 48 hours in the slammer. Depending on the capriciousness of they that run the place, I may be in there for 72. Any which way, here’s to great site fodder!

Some random stuff relating to last week:

On I HeArTE JADE blogging… I am so glad I held back publishing my account of the month in 2009 I spent in Albemarle-Charlottesville Regional Jail. Aside from possibly incurring the beastliness of a handful of Correctional Officers during this recent stint, half my tricks for survival would’ve been rendered useless.

On hitchhiking there… I made sure I got to the area in plenty of time lest I had to walk the whole way to ACRJ from where I parked my car. The upside was I caught a ride as soon as I crossed the street and stuck out my thumb; the downside was I arrived at the establishment ridiculously early and had to hang around their waiting room before they’d let me check in.

On Intake… Through the pseudo-glass partitions I got a glimpse of my favorite ACPD troublemaker: Officer Eric Kudro himself. I thought of a million witty things to holler at the boyish-looking powerhouse who’s known for getting sloshed and slurping syrup but, considering he’s been being almost good lately, I just grinned at him and left it at that.

On ACRJ personnel… I recognized a lot of the guards from last time. Truth be told, a few are triple evil, a few are honest-to-heaven angels, and the majority are completely indifferent to everyone around them.

On hitchhiking back… ‘Twas a dark and stormy night. A mother of two, traveling alone, in a minivan picked me up. It got me thinking that maybe Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement should spitcan all their officers and replace them with soccer moms -- since they seem to be a lot less fearful than current Task Force members.