Showing posts with label Esoteric. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Esoteric. Show all posts
20130417
20120808
My New Crush
Hi Officer (name withheld -- for the time being, anyway)!
I'm not sure if your interest in me derives from curiosity or challenge, but I am sure the guys and gals in your department would advise you against taking me on. They'd prolly suggest that, among other things, you should not unnecessarily conduct slow drive-by stare-downs of my motorcycle or look yourself up on I HeArTE JADE. They might point out that paying so much attention to me earned at least one member of Law Enforcement a sexy site of his very own. They may inform you that I thrive on ridiculing uppity lawmen. Even if you choose to disregard their counsel, let's be real, darlin', no matter what your intentions are, you can't possibly keep up with me. If you persist in this provocative behavior of yours, I'll have to assume it's because you want to become the next policeman I make fun of on here.
Kisses,
P.S. Tell your awesome Lieutenant I said "howdy."
I'm not sure if your interest in me derives from curiosity or challenge, but I am sure the guys and gals in your department would advise you against taking me on. They'd prolly suggest that, among other things, you should not unnecessarily conduct slow drive-by stare-downs of my motorcycle or look yourself up on I HeArTE JADE. They might point out that paying so much attention to me earned at least one member of Law Enforcement a sexy site of his very own. They may inform you that I thrive on ridiculing uppity lawmen. Even if you choose to disregard their counsel, let's be real, darlin', no matter what your intentions are, you can't possibly keep up with me. If you persist in this provocative behavior of yours, I'll have to assume it's because you want to become the next policeman I make fun of on here.
Kisses,
P.S. Tell your awesome Lieutenant I said "howdy."
20110919
/Waves At Virginia State Police High Tech Unit Surveillance Agent Kenneth Hicks
Given that you seem to have taken a special interest in the other one from my post, I can tell you there are beaucoup more for your stash:
Oh, yeah, and congratulations on becoming my very first “K” entry label.
;)
Oh, yeah, and congratulations on becoming my very first “K” entry label.
;)
20110829
Care To Guess What Sort Of Mood I’m In?
investigation
mexicans at the maya
JADE Task Force bad boys
♥
There once was a cop from Charlottesville
Who gulped down his booze like it was swill
And when he was toast
The Boys In Blue would he roast
Giving me grist for the mill.
♥
trees strewn, storm got ya
you ‘n she leave at eight-ish
your same life, juiceless.
♥
The badges from the County
Guns, tasers, and bounty
The men wear it all proud
So the chicks will be wowed
And go for an on-duty mount-y.
♥
trooperman, my crush
en route to division one
‘til we meet again
mexicans at the maya
JADE Task Force bad boys
♥
There once was a cop from Charlottesville
Who gulped down his booze like it was swill
And when he was toast
The Boys In Blue would he roast
Giving me grist for the mill.
♥
trees strewn, storm got ya
you ‘n she leave at eight-ish
your same life, juiceless.
♥
The badges from the County
Guns, tasers, and bounty
The men wear it all proud
So the chicks will be wowed
And go for an on-duty mount-y.
♥
trooperman, my crush
en route to division one
‘til we meet again
20110721
20110707
Electrochemical Cells
I remember way back when, Detective Paul Best informed me his primary role in the Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement (JADE) Task Force was playing electronic handy-man; he’d fix up the dilapidated devices employed by their officers so that they would be in at least quasi-functional shape for surveillance operations. While we spoke in length about the sorry condition of much of their gear, I never thought to ask him about what powers the equipment -- a point that’s kind of weird for somebody like me, who thrives on minutia, to neglect. Too late now to fish for such information from any of their members myself.
These are the batteries utilized by the Virginia State Police (VSP) Criminal Intelligence Division (CID) Technical Support Unit (TSU):
According to my super-sexy source, the VSP are only permitted to use each electricity supplier once per investigation because they can’t risk having an old one go dead when they’re surreptitiously, say, taping a suspect confessing illegal activities to a wire-wearing snitch. Makes sense.
I’m told, however, at the Parham Road Richmond office, the voltaic piles are recycled. Upon removal they’re dropped in a box, and Special Agents and Troopers are free to take and install them in incidental contraptions non-essential to work-conducted procedures.
It may or may not be ironic that the AAs which run the camera I tote to shoot pictures of VA State Policemen and the AAAs which drive the Olympus I carry to also record them came out of that very box. It definitely is, though, in my opinion, wicked funny.
These are the batteries utilized by the Virginia State Police (VSP) Criminal Intelligence Division (CID) Technical Support Unit (TSU):
According to my super-sexy source, the VSP are only permitted to use each electricity supplier once per investigation because they can’t risk having an old one go dead when they’re surreptitiously, say, taping a suspect confessing illegal activities to a wire-wearing snitch. Makes sense.
I’m told, however, at the Parham Road Richmond office, the voltaic piles are recycled. Upon removal they’re dropped in a box, and Special Agents and Troopers are free to take and install them in incidental contraptions non-essential to work-conducted procedures.
It may or may not be ironic that the AAs which run the camera I tote to shoot pictures of VA State Policemen and the AAAs which drive the Olympus I carry to also record them came out of that very box. It definitely is, though, in my opinion, wicked funny.
20101223
Virginia State Police Understaffed
Virginia State Police are heading into the holiday season with staffing levels some say are the worst in decades.On January 1, Virginia State Police will be down 249 sworn officers. The money is there to pay their salaries, but $52 million in budget cuts since 2006 have held up schools to produce new troopers.
On Friday Governor Bob McDonnell asked legislators for funding for three new trooper schools over the next two years to replenish the agency's thinning ranks. The General Assembly convenes Jan. 12.
Because of the staffing levels, many jurisdictions have no troopers on duty overnight. Many others cover wide areas with limited or no backup.
State Police Superintendent Colonel Steven Flaherty said the staffing levels are putting troopers' lives at risk.
(Source)
20101208
Image Courtesy Of Nicholas Rudman
The above photograph was taken on my camera by City of Charlottesville Detective Nick Rudman when he “accidentally” -- “accidentally” according to his and his fellow Detective Todd Lucas’ sworn testimony -- rifled through the device the day it was seized. ‘Twas snapped 17 minutes and 16 seconds after the last image I captured, to be precise.
What disturbs me most about this is that apparently Mr. Rudman’s unintentional pictures turn out better than my intentional ones.
20101207
20101011
Da Maneira Que Eu Gosto
Silently interrupting our conversation I thrust my index finger frontward sharply to point at something through the windshield. From the passenger seat of my parked car, my Virginia State Policeman, Fox -- a more fitting pseudonym for him there is not, looks to see what I find important enough to disturb our chat. Across the road, in a separate lot, one of his breed is rounding a building in a marked cruiser.
Inundated by an explosion of excitement, I ask “Can you read the tag?”
The pulchritudinous man beside me casually but swiftly maneuvers himself until he gets a decent unblocked-by-botanies view of the license plate, then rattles off four numbers. Fox is so very accommodating. Armed with the digits, I ransack my mind all the way to the recesses to ascertain whether I’ve got photographs of that particular Trooper; at the same time I mentally try to establish where in the automobile my camera is. “I have 5288…” Under my seat? “And 5226…” Glove compartment maybe? “5446 too…” In the back on the floorboard? Upon comprehensive internal numeration I determine I do not, in fact, have any pictures of the Blue and Gray in question.
Fox has been watching me keenly, a flare of amusement mixed with I-don’t-know-what at my behavior. Perhaps he’s experiencing jamais vu -- though it’s not as if he isn’t familiar with my enthusiasms regarding chance encounters with officers. Shoot; on one of our first get-togethers, he had to practically drag me away by my hair to prevent me from examining a police car that, right before our eyes, had been inexplicably left wide open -- completely unsecured, windows down -- by its uniformed operator in an otherwise-empty parking lot! It so happens the reason for the abandonment was a flat tire, but, still, what kind of cop leaves his patrol vehicle wide open like that?!
Reminiscing about onset meetings with him brings to mind I HeArTE JADE activities and before I can stop myself, I blurt out at Fox “Do you think I’m obsessed with Law Enforcement?”
He cerebrates for a moment before giving me a carefully constructed answer, the kind I’d expect from a lawman -- even a scrupulous one: adequately ambiguous, designed to be favorable to any given person’s position. He has never vilipended my Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement habit though, thus I am content to accept his reply. Plus he’s hot, so who really cares what he has to say?
Fox and I carry on with our visit, but I surreptitiously keep tabs on the mystery Trooper. I track him moving to yet another square of pavement, and while I lose sight of him there neither do I observe his departure from the immediate area.
After my delicious VSP-man and I disentangle ourselves from each other and bid farewells, I roll off in the direction of where I suspect the unknown Trooper will be found.
Inundated by an explosion of excitement, I ask “Can you read the tag?”
The pulchritudinous man beside me casually but swiftly maneuvers himself until he gets a decent unblocked-by-botanies view of the license plate, then rattles off four numbers. Fox is so very accommodating. Armed with the digits, I ransack my mind all the way to the recesses to ascertain whether I’ve got photographs of that particular Trooper; at the same time I mentally try to establish where in the automobile my camera is. “I have 5288…” Under my seat? “And 5226…” Glove compartment maybe? “5446 too…” In the back on the floorboard? Upon comprehensive internal numeration I determine I do not, in fact, have any pictures of the Blue and Gray in question.
Fox has been watching me keenly, a flare of amusement mixed with I-don’t-know-what at my behavior. Perhaps he’s experiencing jamais vu -- though it’s not as if he isn’t familiar with my enthusiasms regarding chance encounters with officers. Shoot; on one of our first get-togethers, he had to practically drag me away by my hair to prevent me from examining a police car that, right before our eyes, had been inexplicably left wide open -- completely unsecured, windows down -- by its uniformed operator in an otherwise-empty parking lot! It so happens the reason for the abandonment was a flat tire, but, still, what kind of cop leaves his patrol vehicle wide open like that?!
Reminiscing about onset meetings with him brings to mind I HeArTE JADE activities and before I can stop myself, I blurt out at Fox “Do you think I’m obsessed with Law Enforcement?”
He cerebrates for a moment before giving me a carefully constructed answer, the kind I’d expect from a lawman -- even a scrupulous one: adequately ambiguous, designed to be favorable to any given person’s position. He has never vilipended my Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement habit though, thus I am content to accept his reply. Plus he’s hot, so who really cares what he has to say?
Fox and I carry on with our visit, but I surreptitiously keep tabs on the mystery Trooper. I track him moving to yet another square of pavement, and while I lose sight of him there neither do I observe his departure from the immediate area.
After my delicious VSP-man and I disentangle ourselves from each other and bid farewells, I roll off in the direction of where I suspect the unknown Trooper will be found.
20100803
Cryptic Grape Juice
So I’ve gathered that members of the ATF can be identified, in, uh, certain places, under lowercase first initial/middle initial/last name. For example:
jastoltz
mamoore
jrhealey
While US Attorneys go with capitalized first initial/last name:
AGiorno
NHealey
Hmm… I wonder if Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms Agent David Stone finished that report of his yet. I think he should email me a copy.
jastoltz
mamoore
jrhealey
While US Attorneys go with capitalized first initial/last name:
AGiorno
NHealey
Hmm… I wonder if Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms Agent David Stone finished that report of his yet. I think he should email me a copy.
20100623
20091015
Return Of The JADE-I
Though the entry prior to this one was intended to be somewhat a dramatic cliffhanger, I had not an inkling as I typed it out -- to the raining thuds of boots of raiding officers entering the house -- that it would be quite literally months before I’d be back to continue the I HeArTE JADE saga.
Oh, the stories I have to tell! About the raid, about my incarceration. About reporters and media coverage. About plea agreements, and prosecutors who weasel out of keeping their end of the bargain.
That stuff, and more, will likely work its way out, post by post, in due time. For now I only have a few things to mention in brief.
My bond was not, as the Washington Post reported, $750.00. It was $7500.00. Both amounts are absurd.
Today is the first day since my arrest I’ve been legally permitted to use a computer. Being told you had 75,000 site visitors just in the first week alone of August is not the same as seeing the evidence of it yourself. Although s-e-v-e-n-t-y f-i-v-e thousand hits over a mere few days was still impressive to hear about. Being deprived of Internet access has been like mental jail for me. I will be sleepless for the next four days scarfing up as much online information as I can without my brain bursting. News, recipes, weather, the lost art of the fire service...
Today is the first day since my arrest I’ve been legally permitted to contact law enforcement. The delightfully handsome and getting-smarter-by-the-second county cop, JumpOut, and I will have to start meeting elsewhere since our regular location unfortunately falls within a 300 yard restriction I’m now eternally under.
I pleaded guilty to two counts of obstruction of justice. As a nobody, a someone who’ll never amount to anything, having a couple of misdemeanor charges on my record doesn’t have much of an affect on my life. Every day I will wake up being that same nobody, that same purposeless someone. But at least I will not be waking up in jail.
One of the terms -- out of a slew and a half of them -- is that I remove “the photograph of the JADE officer’s home and his address which resulted in the County charge.” I had no problem agreeing to do that, much like I had no problem pointing out that both the image and the address can be found on the county’s own website. Anyway, I’ve officially complied.
I guess that’s it at the moment.
Gosh, I feel like I’m forgetting something important.
Huh. Never mind. It’ll come to me eventually.
Oh, the stories I have to tell! About the raid, about my incarceration. About reporters and media coverage. About plea agreements, and prosecutors who weasel out of keeping their end of the bargain.
That stuff, and more, will likely work its way out, post by post, in due time. For now I only have a few things to mention in brief.
My bond was not, as the Washington Post reported, $750.00. It was $7500.00. Both amounts are absurd.
Today is the first day since my arrest I’ve been legally permitted to use a computer. Being told you had 75,000 site visitors just in the first week alone of August is not the same as seeing the evidence of it yourself. Although s-e-v-e-n-t-y f-i-v-e thousand hits over a mere few days was still impressive to hear about. Being deprived of Internet access has been like mental jail for me. I will be sleepless for the next four days scarfing up as much online information as I can without my brain bursting. News, recipes, weather, the lost art of the fire service...
Today is the first day since my arrest I’ve been legally permitted to contact law enforcement. The delightfully handsome and getting-smarter-by-the-second county cop, JumpOut, and I will have to start meeting elsewhere since our regular location unfortunately falls within a 300 yard restriction I’m now eternally under.
I pleaded guilty to two counts of obstruction of justice. As a nobody, a someone who’ll never amount to anything, having a couple of misdemeanor charges on my record doesn’t have much of an affect on my life. Every day I will wake up being that same nobody, that same purposeless someone. But at least I will not be waking up in jail.
One of the terms -- out of a slew and a half of them -- is that I remove “the photograph of the JADE officer’s home and his address which resulted in the County charge.” I had no problem agreeing to do that, much like I had no problem pointing out that both the image and the address can be found on the county’s own website. Anyway, I’ve officially complied.
I guess that’s it at the moment.
Gosh, I feel like I’m forgetting something important.
Huh. Never mind. It’ll come to me eventually.
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