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La-Dee-Da-Dee-Dee La-Dee-Da-Dee-Da

Mkay here’s the story on the five days:

Remember back in July of 2009 when I sat in jail for, like, a month? All those days trapped in there? Well, that time apparently counts for…


When I was arrested this past March for the “violation of court order,” Denise Lunsford, the Albemarle County Commonwealth Attorney, had the charge amended to the original obstruction of justice charge -- purely so she could invoke the six month suspended sentence I’d been given in that case. In order to still have a remaining amount to hold over my head (dare I continue endlessly teasing the police via the Internet), Miz Lunsford asked the General District Court judge that I be given only sixty days out of the six months; instead the judge, the man who found me guilty, gave me ten days -- which I’m told is pretty standard for violations.

At some point it dawned on Miz Lunsford -- presumably when word trickled back to her I was making inquiries into it -- that by her having the charge amended, I would be entitled to credit for the time I’d already served.

This is how my attorney put it
“Under Virginia Law the Violation of Probation and Good Behavior is not a separate new offense, but merely the imposition by the court of all or a portion of the original sentence.” “Under Code Section 53.1-187, time must be credited for all time spent in confinement with respect to a charge and [I am] clearly entitled to a credit of 29 days…”
So this month Miz Lunsford went into Albemarle Circuit Court, where, of course, a different judge, a woman, was presiding, and rabidly insisted I was arrested under the charge she earlier denied in General District Court that I was brought in for. Not only that, she demanded the judge not rule on the matter at all and leave it up to Albemarle-Charlottesville Regional Jail’s discretion whether I get the credit!

Obviously the only reason the CA would ever request such a thing is because she already knew what the jail’s position would be. I later learned she had, in fact, been burning up the phone lines with the facility.

The judge ruled she didn’t have to rule. My fate to be determined by the detention center.

Wait, it gets better.

My lawyer asked for one week to allow us an opportunity to work out the applicable credit issue with ACRJ. The judge refused and declared she was not going to allow for that “because someone else might ask for the same thing.”

That’s seriously what she said. “Someone else might ask for the same thing.” She considers that a legitimate reason?! That’s the kind of hairball “logic” coughed up from authority figurines these days?! And women wonder why men deprived them for so long of even the right to vote. Really. The judge didn’t even bother trying to look sensible.

Denying me a week’s extension doesn’t prevent anyone else in the future from asking for a decent minimal amount of time to sort a questionable situation out. And why should anyone be thwarted from doing so regardless? More importantly, what kind of judge bases her decisions on hypothetical other people and what they may imaginarily do?

I can’t even ridicule it; it’s so perfectly ridiculous on its own.

The end result is that I am to serve weekends until five days total incarceration is achieved.

What happened to my ten day sentence, you ask? Well, there’s this systemish thing about time for good behavior; the gist is you serve half and you get credit for half -- one serves six months for a year-long sentence, thirty days for a sixty-day sentence, five days for ten, et cetera.

That’s right folks; I don’t get credit for the time I already spent on the inside, but I do get credit for the time I’ll never have to spend there.

‘Tis too bad I don’t have unlimited funds to take these malevolent people to task in a lawsuit. Lucky for me I’m content forthcoming mild mockery of five specific officers will somewhat balance the injustice of it all. What fun! On that note, can you believe one of Charlottesville’s policemen is highfalutin enough to live in a gated community?