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Ya’d Think They Caught Me On a Bridge With a POS Tec-9 and a Twitch

I got another two-page letter, this one from the “JADE Task Force Command Group,” handed to me directly by VSP Bureau of Criminal Investigation Special Agent Jason Trent. The content, albeit sterner, is evocative of communications past, complete with a warning about prosecution. It does have a minor new twist, the aroma of which has a distinct smell of burnt trousers. Both the document and the man informed me it will be the last caution I get.

So I’ve been deeply reflecting on it and I realize that since an arrest will cause me to immediately be thrown out of law school, not to mention ruin my fallback prospective career choice of becoming a police officer...

As if.

I am doing nothing illegal. Moreover, after all the horse manure they’ve previously shoveled into my yard it’s not unreasonable for me to believe this latest stuff of theirs is anything other than one more scoopful. Granted these points don’t automatically mean I’m untouchable. Word around the water cooler is JADE is a good bit ticked off I’ve embarrassed them.

That being said, should a significant amount of time go by without an update to I HeArTE JADE I can probably be found on this site. I’ll be the one charged with… okay, I don’t really know what they’ll charge me with -- they’ve never said. But I can guarantee it won’t be Trespassing.