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JADE Has A New Member!

Okay, technically the Task Force has had a new member for practically ever but, aside from a way back when insouciant reference that I’ve known about him, obviously I’ve excluded him from I HeArTE JADE. My excuse reason? I was just kinda savin’ him for a rainy day, I suppose. While today was, honestly, full of showers, I actually have a serious incentive for suddenly identifying their twelfth fellow.

Unfortunately, I guess I might’ve waited a teeny bit too long to introduce him the way I’d intended seeing as how cheezball events have made it so that now I can’t add photographs of him to the site or possibly publish his address. I can, however, post pictures of his car, provide his license plate, give out his cell number, comment on his next door neighbor, et cetera. And maybe I’ll get around to that junk -- plus my grounds for the revelation -- in the future. Right now I’m just going to focus on his name.

When I got word Jefferson Area Drug Enforcement would be hiring a new man, it took me all of five seconds to learn he’d be an addition from the Albemarle County Police Department -- their budgeted fourth. Five seconds more and I found out his name is Tavis Coffin. Turns out Mr. Coffin is known for his, ahem, less than smooth driving abilities. The prime pseudonym for an on-duty officer with that surname who ran his law enforcement vehicle into a ditch? Cruiser Crasher Coffin.

Interestingly enough, I did some research -- curiosity got the better of me -- and I discovered another cop, Jason Lovell, a Lieutenant in Easley, South Carolina, also wound up working narcotics sometime after wrecking his car. (Someone should take a snapshot of Lt. Lovell and give it to the Easley PD since they’re apparently lacking a photo of the officer.)

Since Cruiser Crasher is as brilliant as some of JADE’s other public servants, such as the former Trooper who preferred to shoot a man rather than just let go of him, or the policeman who sent someone to prison for gesturing at him, no doubt he’ll do one hell of a bang-up job.